By Colin Sully
2006 seemed to end much like any other year in The Lee, with the Newsletter celebrating more success (so we are told) and the Hunt meeting on The-Lee green (no changes there then). But what would 2007 hold? We could hardly have dared to guess!
January started much as usual. The Lee W.I. met at the Parish Hall and “afterwards enjoyed a delicious tea”. We were also reliably informed that “all the allotments are being actively cultivated” and we had Newsletter reporters sending in their copy from as far afield as Sri Lanka, Kilimanjaro, Wembley and Kings Ash. All was right with the world!
But, for those who could see them, there were already the early signs of the revolution that was about to take place in The Lee, starting with a new headteacher at the village school and heavy machinery seen massing at the Parish Hall.
By February, revolutionaries were beginning to infiltrate other key areas of village life with the arrival of a new ‘temporary’ Editor at the Newsletter and the youth of the village erecting a sculpture of their new leader.
The radicalisation of The Lee residents continued through the spring with the arrival of the ‘Bookworm’ - offering insights into the meaning of words – leading in March to the first village uprising for more than a century… over the siting of the cricket nets!
Attempts at appeasement were made in April with the opening of the new village superstore, selling goods that villagers had, for too long, been living without. But volunteer revolutionaries quickly infiltrated the Shop Committee and it soon became the centre for the distribution of radical propaganda, including Gardener’s Weekly and Angler’s Digest.
The revolution continued to gather momentum in April with crowds gathering
at the Cock and Rabbit to protest over plans to turn it into a Super Casino
/ Entertainment complex (well, something like that). In Swan Bottom, rioting
over the proposed closure of a local hostelry resulted in the destruction
of large parts of the neighbourhood.The landslide victory of Chairman Usborne in the May elections, for a while, offered a focus that appeared to unite the village. Life began to get back to normal with Cream Teas at The Old Church and much merriment at the June Fête and the July Show (not to forget the most excellent Flower Show Dance).
However, whilst The Lee villagers were relaxing during the long, hot summer, the ‘great enemy’ came relentlessly marching down the roads and streets of the Parish (stealing the Shop banners as they went) led by their despotic leader ‘Pot Holes’!
In July, it all boiled over when an angry mob of “around 30 people crowded into the Parish Hall” to confront the despots and take part in the ‘Great Confrontation of 2007’. The battle was fiercely fought with both sides using ‘long words’, ‘statistics’, and ‘clichés’. Nonetheless, after a number of bloodless skirmishes, witnesses reported, “there seemed to be a general sense of optimism”.
This air of optimism was reinforced with news from the cricket field that the revolutionary youth movement of The Lee (marching under their banner “Save our nets”) were at the same time defeating the mighty strength of the Chesham youth marauders in the great ‘Battle of Home Park’.
As the heat of summer turned to the mellowness of autumn, peace finally began to return to The Lee. With news that once again all the allotments were being worked, even the Swan Bottom ladies felt safe enough to leave their encampment and travel to the big city.
In October and November villagers once again gathered to offer their thanks for their bountiful lives and for those who sacrificed themselves that they might enjoy them.
Even Lord Howe was seen to be looking heavenwards, apparently in prayer. Or is it just his eyebrows that are raised and he is actually saying “Peace and quiet at last!”
Roll on 2008!