It’s a rough old world out thereBy Viv Robins, Clerk to The Lee Parish Council
The world of local government can be, frankly, scary. Did you hear about the Parish Councillor who fired an unlicensed shotgun during a dispute with neighbours about a mid-week fireworks party? Or the Parish Council Chairman who drove a digger into a Grade Two listed cottage, claiming he’d been asked to demolish it?
Manners can also leave something to be desired: one Town Councillor gate-crashed a Mayor’s charity ball and went on a drunken rampage; another was suspended by his local party after dressing up as a Nazi officer for a fancy dress birthday party. And how about the County Councillor who met with the same fate after his rant against Romanian travellers ended up on You Tube?
But by far the worst incident, I’m sure you will agree, was the Parish Council Chairman who chased the Clerk round the back of the Parish Hall and made an assault upon her person, claiming that she “reminded him of his wife”, who was currently away looking after her sick mother.
Admittedly not all Clerks are saints themselves. They have been variously accused of breaching human rights and running off with the petty cash. One found herself in court for setting fire to the house of her husband’s lover after finding out about their affair.
But it seems the behaviour of members of the public can be as bad. A Parish Councillor was grabbed by the throat in a debate about housing after he had resisted an invitation to “step outside.” And a resident walked out of a Parish Council meeting after he said he would otherwise be tempted to “pull off the Chairman’s nose.”
But where are all these things happening, you might ask? The answer seems to be: almost anywhere but The Lee! The reason I know about them is because on taking up the job of Clerk I started to receive the ‘house magazine’, Clerks and Councils Direct – and what an eye-opener it was! Where in The Lee were the drunken, brawling Councillors, as often as not at daggers drawn with the Clerk or one another, if not both? Where were the street-fighting members of the public? I can honestly say I have experienced nothing but consideration and sweet reasonableness from the Councillors during my four and a half years in the job – and on the rare occasions when members of the public have attended meetings they too have been attentive and polite. The Chairman’s nose, in short, remains happily intact.
As for the job itself, it typically requires an average of between eight and 12 hours a month, for which I get paid just over £9 an hour. I work from home and get an allowance of £250 to cover office costs such as heating, telephones and computer use.
The job is not at all onerous, given that we have Parish Council meetings only every two months. I have to prepare the Agendas for those and the financial reports, as well as writing out and sending off cheques. I then do the Minutes which get posted online and on the notice-boards. I also deal with all correspondence whenever it comes in and write all letters on the Council’s behalf.
The two busiest times of the year are September to November, when I prepare the following year’s budget, and the beginning of May when I do the Annual Return. In September I also send out the annual rent demands for the allotments.
If you’ve read this far and are wondering why a series of inconsequential anecdotes about local Councils has suddenly turned into a job prospectus it is because, as some of you will know, I am proposing to give up the job at the end of August and the Council is indeed looking for some-one to take over!
If you are interested you can always contact me for further details, or the Chairman Cllr John Ford on 837726 or the ex-Chairman and long-serving Councillor Barnaby Usborne on 837382.
But if you’d rather learn more about the wild world beyond the tranquil confines of The Lee I will happily pass on my back numbers of Clerks and Councils Direct.